Feeling LOST after narcissistic abuse?
Here’s a map to the life you deserve.
To survive narcissistic abuse as the scapegoat, you have to believe some pretty terrible things about yourself. Things like:
"If I'm not being productive then I'm worthless"
"I don't deserve protection"
"I am defective"
"I am unattractive"
"I am always 1 mistake away from complete ruin"
You may be reading this because you know - deep down - that you deserve better.
Now the question becomes: 'What to do next?'
Every survivor has to answer this question for themselves. BUT you can get to your answers more quickly with the right MAP.
Level I: A Map to Recover from Narcissistic Abuse offers just this.
Trying to recover from narcissistic abuse without a map can leave you feeling like:
- You deserve less than others
- There's something wrong with you
- You are less important than others
- Maybe you're just being "too sensitive"
- You're not allowed to be angry with others
- You're completely alone in all of this
- You can't trust your radar to find "safe" people
Imagine if you had a map to recovery that helped you know that:
- You deserve care from yourself and select others
- You get to protect yourself from abuse without guilt
- Your experience is valid and makes sense
- You can figure out who's "safe" and who's not
- You are part of a community of survivors who 'get it'
There is a map to free yourself from narcissistic abuse that works!
Let's take a look at what's possible...
The 3 Pillars of Recovery
+
A Thriving Community of Survivors
Pillar 1
Make sense of what happened
Learn why narcissistic abuse was not your fault...
Do you often wonder if you're making all of this up? Survivors of narcissistic abuse likely were treated in ways designed to make them question their perceptions, judgments and even their own reality. This step offers a coherent and compassionate understanding of what you went through so that you get to see it was not your fault.
- Module 1: The scapegoated survivor of childhood narcissistic abuse
- Module 2: How narcissistic abuse impacts the survivor’s psychology
Pillar 2
Gain distance from your narcissistic abuser
Protect yourself from stress...
Psychological and emotional distance from the stress of narcissistic abuse is an essential part of recovery. In this section you'll learn and practice why such distance is not something to feel guilty about but is an essential act of self-care.
Module 3: The importance of distance from the narcissistic family
Module 4: Identifying 'safe' people as friends and partners
Pillar 3
defy the narcissist's rules
Live in defiance of the narcissist's rules...
Survivors of narcissistic abuse often have to survive by believing falsehoods about themselves that lead to suffering. In these modules, you will learn to identify such beliefs you may have adopted and learn how to successfully challenge and disconfirm them.
Module 5: Free yourself from beliefs that keep you ‘at home’
Module 6: Separating lovability from competence
BONUS
Connect with other survivors
Know you are not alone anymore...
One of the worst parts about narcissistic abuse is how alone the survivor often feels. Not anymore! This private facebook group is a community designed exclusively for course students. We emphasize validating your experience in the narcissistic abuse you survived AND recognizing each other's unique strengths as the person they are. Both are important for recovery and the group is designed to offer that.
- Participate in a moderated and safe discussion on the process of recovery
- Share the challenges and triumphs in your recovery with 'safe' others
- Support and connect to others in their journey.
- Weekly prompts to share and respond to moments of progress that week
- Weekly prompts to share something about your life that you take pride in
Lisa
"I'm hard pressed to think of anything that has been as effective in my life and on my mindset in such a quick, clear and comprehensive way as this course. It really is a balm to the soul and has made such an enormous difference for me."
8 Video Lessons
4 hours & 20 minutes Total
Facebook Group
Get support from other survivors and use weekly prompts to build on your momentum
Assignments
Take specific action to practice the tools for healing
Knowledge
See through the 'haze' of narcissistic abuse to realize the good news about who you really are
Jennifer
"This course is packed with mind-opening insights into both the abuse and how to recover from it. There is no padding or fluff, and at times it felt as if his every sentence laid out a breakthrough concept for me."
Ronald
"Tremendously helpful for the recovery process...it’s a real bargain."
Trent
"The content has been great. Concise, dense but intelligible and incredibly relevant."
Monica
"I have read countless books and have attempted counseling a couple of times in my life and have never felt so in sync with what I am learning...Registering for this course was the best gift I could have possibly given myself at this point in my life."
Sarah
"Jay’s course gave me...several key ideas that I had never come across in all my years of research to understand the narcissistic abuse I experienced."
Emma
"[The most helpful part of this course was]...the concise and wonderfully articulate explanations of how these family systems work, and mechanisms of psychological wounding that happens to the scapegoat in childhood."
Why am I qualified to help?
Jay Reid, M.S., LPCC
M.S. Clinical Psychology
Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC)
I am a licensed practicing psychotherapist in San Francisco, CA. I've been working with survivors of narcissistic abuse since 2014.
I focus on this area for a couple reasons:
Survivors have had to falsely believe they are much worse than they are - that's not fair! Therapy involves working towards knowing the 'good news' that they are much better than they've been made to believe.
I know what it's like to be the scapegoat in my own family of origin. I find purpose and meaning in working with other survivors as they reclaim the quality of life they deserve.
In addition to doing therapy, I work to promote recovery from narcissistic abuse more broadly. I post weekly videos on this topic on a Youtube Channel with over 33,000 subscribers. I am also working to get the concept of narcissistic abuse into the academic world and have published an journal article on how a narcissistic parent can force a child to believe they deserve the parent's abuse.
John
"Nothing out there resonates as well with me as a former scapegoat, than how Jay explains things.
I really feel understood and encouraged to trust my own perception again."
98% of Students Highly Recommend It
Renee
"The explanations are so solid and compassionate. I have been reading about dysfunctional and narcissistic families for some time and there are other good things out there, but this is the first time I feel like someone has truly described me and what has happened inside me and given me a strategy for healing myself.."
What's in the course?
8 Videos (4+ hours total) + Assignments
Length: 19min 22sec
Introduction
- Introduce the 3 pillars to recovery
- Understand what you can expect from the course
- Know why it's important to address each step equally
Length: 42min 30sec
Module 1
- In-depth explanation of the narcissistic person’s psychology
- The early period of being idealized by the narcissist then "falling from grace" when you want to make your own choices
- The narcissistic family system and the abuse faced by the scapegoat
- Being idealized by the narcissist then "falling from grace" when you want to make your own choices
Length: 36min 50sec
Module 2
- How the survivor may have to split the self into 2 parts
- One part that's hopeful the narcissist will finally love them
- Another hidden part that stores all the pain and suffering inflicted by the narcissist
- Diagrams used to clearly illustrate this process
Length: 31min 20sec
Module 3
- Why it is harder to leave a narcissistic family than to leave a ‘good-enough’ family
- How the fear of abandonment and/or retaliation can keep one 'hooked'
- How distance 'breaks the spell' of the narcissistic family
- Concrete strategies to create such distance
Length: 37min 58sec
Module 4
- Define what a 'safe' relationship means for you
- Safety can include the presence of feeling cared about - not just the absence of harm
- Trusting your feelings when it comes to finding safe people
- Walk through an assignment in detail that will help you identify the most to least safe people in your life
Length: 30min 26sec
Module 5
- Commonly held beliefs adopted to survive narcissistic abuse
- These beliefs center around feeling undeserving and/or defective
- How gaining distance & safe relationships can help you disconfirm these beliefs
Length: 26min 07sec
Module 6
- The coping strategy of fusing your lovability with your competence
- Having compassion & respect for why you had to adopt this strategy
- Appreciating how it spared you knowledge of the narcissist's contempt for you
- Ways to develop an unconditionally positive relationship with yourself
Length: 36min 24sec
Module 7
- How to overcome these 3 common challenges in recovery:
- Expecting rejection when trying to meet new safe people
- Feeling like a bad person for creating distance from a narcissistic abuser
- Losing patience with yourself in the process of recovery
Pamela
"This is exactly what I needed. Jay is excellent as I have already become aware of from his Youtube videos. I am so glad this course is available."
Beth
"I've also benefitted from the combined wisdom in the facebook group. It's so refreshing to speak to other people who were impacted by these same patterns. It's helpful to learn from other people's comments. It's helping me release my harsh self-blame for situations I wished I'd managed differently. Thank you for that. "
Marcella
"Jay understands the impact of having survived a narcissistic family as a scapegoat in a way that no one else does. His insights are unique and have allowed me to view narcissistic abuse from a different angle. These videos have helped me tremendously on my healing journey to put into context what I have survived as well as providing me with the tools necessary to heal. I recommend Jay's videos to anyone who has been a scapegoat!"
Frequently Asked Questions
Can I get my money back?
Yes! If you determine you are unsatisfied with the course for any reason, simply email me at [email protected] within 7 days of purchase and I will generate a full refund within 48 hours. No questions asked!
How long do I have to access the course and the facebook group?
Forever. Once you purchase the course you will have lifetime access to its contents.
Is the course self-study or supervised learning?
The videos and assignments are self-study. The accompanying private Facebook group for survivors of narcissistic abuse is a realtime forum to discuss the course, your progress in recovery, and get support for yourself.
Is this original content or videos already on YouTube?
This course is all original content. A lot of time, research, and thought was put into creating an accessible and results-oriented course that can help you further your recovery.
Ana
"Jay's course has helped me do a deep dive into an understanding of being a scapegoat of a narcissistically abusive family system. Jay explains things in a way that resonates and that I can understand."