For Adult Scapegoat Survivors of Narcissistic Parents
Break the Scapegoat Spell: A Live 8-Week Online Group Class
Break the spell of having to think you're defective and undeserving.
Learn cutting-edge tools to counter the effects of narcisstic abuse on your body and mind.
Practice applying these tools with a small group of people who get, support and validate you.
Narcissistic parents cast a spell over their scapegoat child...
...and that child had no choice but to go along with it.
Believing the spell allowed you to share in your parent's reality — a reality where you “deserved” the devaluation, deprivation, and domination they inflicted. Believe it or not, the alternative of having no reality to share with your parent would've been far worse.
But over time, that spell took root in your mind and body: You had to unconsciously conclude that you were defective and undeserving.
These conclusions hardened into beliefs that shaped how you saw yourself, others, and the world.
The result was a life guided by false, shame-based rules that kept you small.
This spell doesn’t fade with age. It shapes your nervous system, your attention, and your capacity to connect with others. It can keep even the most determined survivor locked in cycles of self-doubt, fear, and isolation.
New experiences with safe people today are needed to break the spell. Don't limit yourself with one-person solutions.
Here's why so many scapegoat survivors struggle to break the spell
The lasting traumatic effects of narcissistic abuse
You were born expecting love, safety, and interest in who you truly are. Instead, you found neglect, cruelty, and control from your narcissistic parent. Your nervous system adapted by becoming hyper-vigilant — always scanning for the next attack — and your mind replayed the traumatic relationship, pulling your energy into survival instead of into building your life.
The beliefs that saved you before, imprison you now
In a healthy family, pride, empowerment, and dignity are encouraged. In a narcissistic family, these are dangerous. Your parent needed you doubled over in shame and self-doubt. To stay “safe,” you learned to disavow your strengths and believe you were defective and undeserving.
Isolation
The scapegoat child has no one on their side. No protective adult to turn to. Seeking help only meant more humiliation. So you learned to live life entirely alone — the bridge to other people destroyed.
Getting lost in the past
Looking back on what you went through with the hope of healing is needed. But it's easy to get enveloped in those memories and have little energy left over for living today. That's the nature of living with trauma - it demands our attention and energy at the expense of everything else in life.
Here's what those who break the spell do:
They learn and apply cutting-edge trauma-informed methods of self-care
Scapegoat survivors learn how the trauma they survived can occupy them. They deliberately apply grounding techniques to stay in the present when they need to revisit the past.
They speak their new reality into existence with people who matter to them. These individuals do not suffer in silence. They get involved in communities of people who validate and support them when they say what life really feels like.
They practice seeing, naming and celebrating their strengths. A childhood of being diminished makes it hard to know themselves as the strong people they actually are. Yet, these survivors keep at it. They are patient and encouraging with themselves.
They find and participate in safe relationships today. Despite fearing rejection due to what they've learned to expect, these survivors keep working to get to know others and allow others to know them.
Life After You Break the Spell
The Main Benefits You'll Experience
Stay grounded while remembering your past
Keep one foot firmly in today so you can revisit old memories without being pulled under by them.
Feel your strengths as real and safe
Identify, speak, and have your strengths affirmed in real time by a group that sees them in you.
Reconnect to safe people
Restore the bridge to supportive relationships so you no longer have to heal in isolation.
Quiet your nervous system’s alarm
Reduce hypervigilance and re-train your body to feel safe enough to focus on living now.
Belong to a community that understands
Experience consistent, genuine validation from peers who know the scapegoat journey firsthand.
A Multifaceted Solution to Break the Spell
This 8-week live group program is limited to 10 students and will give you the three essential ingredients needed to break the scapegoat spell:
1. Tools to re-train your nervous system, challenge shame-based beliefs, and restore safe connection to others.
2. A small, consistent group where you are seen, heard, and valued by people who understand your journey.
3. Real-time partner and group exercises that make the new truths about your worth feel real in your mind and body.
Instead of scattering your efforts across endless books, videos, and solo exercises, you’ll concentrate your energy where it matters most—in the presence of others who can reflect back the truth about you.
This 10-person group is about living in today while healing yesterday—so you can reclaim your energy, rebuild your connections, and move toward the life you’ve always deserved.
How You Will Learn to Break the Spell
Weekly classes will last 75 minutes and be limited to 10 students per group.
Week 1 – Staying Rooted While Remembering
When you revisit painful memories, it’s easy to get pulled right back into the emotions of the past. This week you’ll learn and practice simple grounding strategies that help you keep one foot in the present while you look back. In partnered exercises, you and your classmate will help each other stay anchored and supported in the moment.
Week 2 – The Path of Recovery
Recovery from the scapegoat role often follows a clear arc—from the painful “old self” you’ve known, through an uncertain middle ground, into a life based on your real strengths. In this class, you’ll map where you are on that path and explore what’s ahead. Partner discussions will help you see your progress through another person’s eyes and give you a living sense of forward movement.
Week 3 – Noticing, Interrupting & Redirecting Your Attention
Years of having to watch for danger can train your mind to stay locked on threat. This week you’ll identify your own attention habits and learn ways to shift toward noticing safety, support, and resources in the present. Working with your partner, you’ll practice making those shifts in real time so they become more natural.
Week 4 – Letting Go of Certainty
Old shame-based conclusions can feel safer than the unknown simply because they’re familiar. This class shows you how to spot moments of uncertainty and stay with them long enough to discover more accurate, life-affirming truths. In your partner work, you’ll share what happens internally when you hear sincere, positive feedback—and practice staying connected instead of retreating.
Week 5 – Reconstructing Painful Memories to See Your Strengths
Looking back on hurtful events often means seeing only what was done to you, not what you brought to those moments. This week you’ll re-examine a memory of being devalued, deprived, or controlled, and uncover the strengths you had before, during, and after. Sharing these reflections with your partner helps make them harder to dismiss.
Week 6 – Finding, Acknowledging & Owning Your Strengths
For many survivors, showing strength once meant risking abandonment. This class helps you reclaim those strengths as safe to own and express. You’ll name them out loud, hear them affirmed by your partner, and explore ways to use them in your current life so they feel more natural and rewarding.
Week 7 – Connecting to Safe Others by Overcoming the Fear of Rejection
When rejection from a caregiver taught you that closeness was dangerous, even safe people can feel risky to approach. This week you’ll learn and practice ways to signal openness and respond to connection in a way that feels comfortable. Partner exercises will give you repeated, supported contact that makes safe connection more familiar.
Week 8 – Boundaries That Are “Just Right”
Finding balance between keeping yourself safe and staying open to others can be challenging. In this class, you’ll work with your partner to role-play real-life scenarios and try out boundary language and responses that protect you without shutting people out. You’ll leave with clear, ready-to-use strategies.
What Else is Included in the Group Class?
An Online Community
Continue the Conversation Between Classes
One of the most powerful parts of this program isn’t just what happens during our live sessions — it’s what happens between them.
As a participant, you’ll have access to a private, members-only online community created just for your 10-person cohort. This is where the breakthroughs and “aha” moments from class can keep growing.
Discuss course material in a safe, understanding space where everyone is working toward the same goals.
Share challenges you’re facing as you put the tools into practice — and get perspective from others who truly understand.
Celebrate your wins and let the group remind you of your progress when it’s hard to see it yourself.
Reinforce your connections with the same people you’re working with in class, so your sense of belonging deepens week after week.
This community becomes a living record of your journey — a place where you are consistently heard, believed, and supported.
Weekly Homework Assignments
Each week, you’ll receive targeted homework assignments designed to help you apply that week’s lesson in your own life.
These aren’t abstract exercises — they’re practical, real-world actions that build on what you’ve practiced in class.
As you bring these practices into your daily life, you’ll begin to see tangible shifts in how you think, feel, and respond — proof that you’re rewriting the old story and creating a new reality.
Break the Scapegoat Spell:
A Live Online 8-Week Group Class
This isn’t a “drop in and listen” kind of program.
This is a complete 8-week experience with 9 other scapegoat survivors. You'll receive live group instruction, carefully matched partner work, ongoing community support, and practical tools you can carry into daily life.
Every element is designed to help you break the spell of the scapegoat and start living from your strengths.
Here's what your investment gets you:
75 minute class each week — longer than most professional sessions — giving you more time for learning and practice.
Expert guidance from a licensed psychotherapist specializing in narcissistic abuse recovery.
Live partner-based exercises that make the lessons feel real in the moment so you can take them into your daily life.
Private online community to deepen connections and share insights between classes.
Weekly homework assignments to help you apply each lesson and create lasting change.
Small, carefully selected group for safety and support.
Eligible for FSA or HSA payment.
FAQs
How many people are in the group?
The cohort is intentionally small — limited to 10 participants — so everyone feels supported and gets the time they need during live sessions.
Do I have to share personal details with the group?
You control what you share. While you’ll work closely with a partner and interact in the group, you are never required to reveal anything you don’t feel ready to. The focus is always on safety, respect, and your personal boundaries.
How are partners chosen?
I personally select partners to ensure safety and compatibility. The goal is for you to work with someone who can both support and challenge you in a constructive way.
What if I’ve never been in a group like this before?
You don’t need prior group experience. Everything is structured to be safe, supportive, and guided. You’ll be given clear instructions for all exercises and plenty of time to ease in.
How much time will I need to commit each week?
Plan for 75 minutes for the live session plus 30–60 minutes for the weekly homework between classes.
Do I have to attend all 8 classes?
Yes. Live attendance for all 8 sessions is required. The reason is that so much of the class is based upon exercises you will complete with your partner. However, if you must miss a session due to an emergency, you’ll receive the homework assignment and class materials for that day so you can keep up.
Meet the Group Facilitator
Jay Reid, M.S., LPCC
M.S. Clinical Psychology
Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC)
I am a licensed practicing psychotherapist in San Francisco, CA. I've been working with survivors of narcissistic abuse since 2014.
I focus on this area for a couple reasons:
Survivors have had to falsely believe they are much worse than they are - that's not fair! Therapy involves working towards knowing the 'good news' that they are much better than they've been made to believe.
I know what it's like to be the scapegoat in my own family of origin. I find purpose and meaning in working with other survivors as they reclaim the quality of life they deserve.
In addition to doing therapy, I work to promote recovery from narcissistic abuse more broadly. I post weekly videos on this topic on a Youtube Channel with over 33,000 subscribers.
I also work to get the concept of narcissistic abuse into the academic world and have published several journal articles on the subject.
2024 ©Think Orion, All rights reserved.
Privacy Policy
Privacy Policy